A good word for today...

It's Official!

Today we had our court hearing to petition to adopt Justin. Our adoption was official in Ethiopia's eyes, but we needed to petition the American court to make him legally ours here.

Travis is being sworn in to testify

Travis' parents came with us; they took pictures and sat with Ethan and Caleb during the session. Beforehand, I thought this would be just another step in the legal process, but it really was a momentous experience! Hearing the judge say, "...the court finds it in the best interest of the child to be placed in the care of..." felt significant and definitive.

A Matter of Perspective

This past month has mostly been a groggy blur for me. I feel like I’ve been running constantly around the house between the kids, homeschool, and housework -not to mention the new world of adoption, and when I finally get into bed at night, I wonder, “what did I even get done today?!”
Ever have a day, week, month like that?!

All month I’ve felt frustrated with myself and the many ways I feel that I am falling short of my self-set expectations as a mother, a wife, a housekeeper, in homeschooling my children, etc. I have been stretched and tired. I have not accomplished things in the way I would have ideally hoped. Schedules change, attitudes interrupt, exhaustion stifles.

I have a quote by Oswald Chambers displayed on the window ledge above the kitchen sink. It speaks directly to my current struggle, and the more I continue to read it and mull on it, the message is beginning to sink in.

If there is one thing I could point at and say, “that is what I am learning”, it is this:

“We are not meant to be God’s perfect, bright-shining examples,
but to be seen as the everyday essence of ordinary life
exhibiting the miracle of His grace.”
-Oswald Chambers

Ahh, what freedom! As I pass by those words through out the day, I feel relief, calm, peace. I feel I have room to breath, to make mistakes, to be human! The focus is on God and His work, not me. I just feel so ordinary, I am so very imperfect, and nowhere near being a bright shining example. And that is just fine. His beauty and grace are on display in our lives of imperfection. I need to look for those “miracles of His grace”. And when I switch my perspective, I see His unmerited favor everywhere!

Today, I looked across the living room and saw Caleb, sitting next to Justin on the floor, give Justin a huge bear hug and scatter kisses across his face. Brothers. Simple. Profound. Beautiful. And saturated in God’s grace.

My husband is so patient, gentle, and longsuffering, there is so much in him that I don’t deserve. There have been many times this past month (and beyond) when I’ve been a bear to live with -and last week we celebrated our 9 year anniversary –God’s grace.

So, I am trying to cut myself some slack. There is no score keeper looking over my shoulder marking down how quickly I get the dishes done, or how long that dried chunk of banana has been stuck to the kitchen floor, or how long I’m going to leave that clean laundry stacked up in the basket in the bedroom. Really, why does that matter?!

I want to dwell on not only the obvious examples of God’s grace, but also the ones that I have to stop and look for to notice. They are there. Everywhere.

Sleep

All week I've been thinking about posting an update on how we are doing. But for today, all I can do is post the lyrics of a song called "Sleep" by Plumb. The lyrics keep running through my head. Yes, I am tired. And a good, solid sleep would feel wonderful!

"Sleep" by Plumb:

Oh I feel so tired
I cannot hardly keep open my eyes
My thoughts are scattered and I cannot say a word
And I can't seem to remember anything
I've learned

Well do you have some of those days
When you can't be who you want to be
When you just need to close your eyes
Pull the covers up so high and drift away

And sleep so soundly
And dream profoundly
Cast all your cares on the
Only thing that you really need
And sleep so soundly

Now I feel so alive
A sense of movement slowed and somehow my tongues tied
My thoughts are shattered and they're making the stars in the sky
And I've never felt so speechless in my life

Well do you have some of those days
When you just need, you just need to be
When you just need to shut your mouth
And close your eyes and breathe in and out and drift away

And sleep so soundly
And dream profoundly
Cast all your cares on the
Only thing that you really need
And sleep so soundly

Sleep, yeah so soundly
And dream, just dream
Profoundly (sleep)
So sleep so soundly
And dream profoundly
Cast all your cares on the
Only thing that you really need

At Conception

I have been asked by more than one person already, “Does he feel like your son yet?” It’s an interesting question and Travis and I were just discussing our response to it. I understand where the question is coming from; there are a lot of curiosities surrounding adoption. The question implies that there is or will be one specific point in time were I will say, “Yes, now he feels like my son.” As we were discussing this concept with each other, Travis and I both soundly agreed that the moment he felt like our son was last fall when we sent our adoption paperwork to Ethiopia. That moment to us was the same as taking a pregnancy test with the following response, “we are expecting! I can’t wait!”

The following months of waiting and anticipation were similar to carrying a child in the womb; you love the child although you have never met face to face. We sent our paperwork in, but with all the variables, there was still no guarantee that the result will be a child in our arms, just as pregnancy does not guarantee a baby in the arms. There were hopes, fears, anxieties, excitement. I even had food cravings with each child I waited for! With Ethan I craved citrus, with Caleb I craved chocolate, and with Justin I craved potato chips with dip!

I loved Justin before I knew him or even knew of him. I prayed for him, I wept and grieved for him and the losses he was experiencing. Last Christmas was painful for me because he was not with us. He felt very much like my son that whole time.

Sure, we just met in person a few weeks ago, and yes, we are still getting to know each other better. Each hug and smile makes our hearts grow deeper in love; every time that he is in tears and my embrace and soft words comfort him, we are bound together more tightly. It is a process of growing and knowing, but he felt like my son over a year ago.

Yes, the moment I felt like he was my son was at conception, the moment we sent in our paperwork.

The Day We Met

I am finally posting some video from the day we first met Justin -August 31st, 2009! Our group from our agency all arrived at the America World transition home where all of our children we waiting for us. One by one each family was introduced to their child. We were able to play there for the afternoon, but we had to wait until the next day to bring Justin with us.

This first video is of our long awaited arrival to the transition home gates:



In this next clip, we are all waiting to meet our little ones!! (just building up the suspense for you!)



Finally, we meet!





More pictures to come...

"Recombobulation Area"

I keep kicking myself for not having taken a picture of it. After having just gone through security in the airport at the beginning of our trip to Ethiopia, we stood at the end of the conveyor belt, refilling our pockets, putting our shoes and belts back on, and gathering our scanned bags, being sure to have everything accounted for and in its proper place. I looked up and noticed that there was a sign above us prominently labeling this area as the “RECOMBOBULATION AREA”. I laughed because it blatantly acknowledged that we had just been discombobulated by going through security. How appropriate!

This week since we’ve been home I keep thinking about that sign, and I imagine that sign hanging on the front of our house. We are in the process of getting recombobulated here. We are getting everything situated and organized, and looking around to see what has been forgotten.

This week so far has been hectic. We are still working on sleep adjustments (Justin is sleeping better each night). I have been to the doctor every day for the last three days. Tuesday the three boys had their physical exams, on Wednesday I went in because I have conjunctivitis (pink eye), and today I took Caleb back in because the immunization site on his arm was hot, red, sore, and swollen from shoulder to elbow (evidently he fell into the .5% for that possible side effect). Along with that we are collecting stool samples on Justin to test for parasites (we are on the third and last one!). –standard test coming from Africa.

So we are still working on get recombobulated!
I’ll be glad when we can pass onto the next stage.


Father and son hanging out after lunch in Ethiopia.


Brothers meeting for the first time in the airport

Which Way is Up?

We are back home with Justin. There is so much I want to share about our amazing trip, but that will be at a future date. I just wanted to post a note to let you know that the whole trip was an awesome experience, in so many aspects. Everything went well, praise God! Thank you to everyone who prayed for our trip home. (I had mentioned that that was what I was the most concerned with.) Justin did so well on the 28+ hours of travel home! We were one of the lucky few to get a bassinet seat on the flight over, so he had a little bed to sleep in and play in.

Travis has the next two weeks off of work, so we are just going to hunker down and get our new life figured out. We took Justin to the doctor this morning and he has an ear infection, but other than that, he is a healthy little guy! Although, he is not sleeping well at night, and Travis and I are both exhausted with lack of sleep and wondering what we can do for Justin to calm him and get him rested at night. I know that this is a transition that will take time.

The best way for me to describe how I am feeling right now is like when I was a kid and I would take a big flying leap into the deep end of the pool and sink down deep. While under the water, I didn’t know what direction was what. Everything was thrown off kilter and I would thrash and swim around to figure which way was up and eventually my head would pop up out of the water and I felt stabilized again. At this point, I feel like I am still thrashing around trying to figure out which way is up. Eventually my head will “pop out of the water” and I’ll be able to look around and find some stability and normality again.


.

Let's Go!

This is it, the real deal! We are leaving on Wednesday, the 26th, for Addis Ababa, Ethiopia! One week from today we will meet and hold our son for the first time! We are arriving there a few days early to see and experience as much of the country and culture as we can squeeze into our short trip. We have some friends who are missionaries in Addis and we are going to meet up with them for a bit. They have already visited our son once and are going to see him again tomorrow! (Travis and Andrea, we are so thankful for you guys!!!)

I might try to post updates while we are there, but I'm not giving any guarantees!

We certainly would appreciate prayers (we return on Saturday, Sep 5th). I am a little nervous about the plane ride home. We will be flying 25+ hours with a child who will have only known us for a few days. Everything will be different and probably very overwhelming for him.
Pray for God's grace for all of us!

Celebrate and praise the Lord with us, I love this song!

Caught in the Act!

While at my sister’s wedding in June, we attempted to take a cute picture of Ethan and Caleb holding a photo of their new brother. As soon as the picture was taken, Caleb started crying and carrying on that Ethan had pulled his hair. Fortunately for Caleb and unfortunately for Ethan, we had just taken a digital photo and we quickly looked at the picture for evidence.


When we zoomed in on the picture, it was evident that Ethan did indeed commit an opportunistic hair pull.


Thinking he could get away with it, he was caught in the act! ...Brothers!!

Needed items for the transition home

In case anyone is interested in sending supplies for the transition home with us when we go, I wanted to share the list of needs that they have. I'm not sure on exactly how much space we'll have in our luggage, but we want to bring as many supplies as we can for them. Anyone who wants to send something with us, let me know!

Donation Items You may bring for Orphanages and Transitional Home
a. Children’s clothing (new or slightly used); Boys and Girls; sizes 0-8 years. Clothing needs include day clothes, pajamas, underwear, and shoes.
b. Diapers size for up to 30 pounds
c. Toys to stimulate babies such as colorful objects, rattles, etc. that are appropriate for babies up to 2 years
d. Unscented baby wipes
e. Powder formula with DHA/RHA
f. Lactose free formula
g. A + D Original Ointment, Diaper Rash and All-Purpose Skincare Formula;
h. Hand Sanitizer
i. Wipers
j. underwear for older kids
k. clothes(especially trousers, dress)
l. DVD player and CDs( children movies, educational, spiritual movies, songs)

Medications/Medical items families can bring:
• Multivitamins
o Tri-vi-sol (o to 6 months)
o Poly-vi-sol (6 months to 2 years)
o Chewable multi-vitamin (2 years to 9 years)
o Adult multivitamin (9 years plus)
• Tylenol (acetaminophen)
o Infants
o Children's
o Suppository
• Syringes for giving medicines (5mL)
• Plastic disposable gloves
• Baby nose saline spray
• Neosporin
• mouth and nose masks
• Benadryl liquid/elixir
• Permetherin for scabies
• Lice kits
• Toothbrushes, toothpaste and floss

Enfamil
Similac

OR the following Generic Brands with identical nutritional value as Enfamil & Similac

1. Parents Choice formula from Wal-Mart
2. Target’s generic Formula
3. Kirkland formula from Costco

Introducing...

Good news!! Our adoption case was approved in the Ethiopian court and we are now officially the parents of Justin Bereket! Praise the Lord with us! We will be traveling to Ethiopia in a couple of weeks to go bring him home. Here is a video clip that I’ve been itching to share with you all. We have some friends who are missionaries in Addis Ababa, and they graciously went to visit him and take pictures of him for us. They sent us this little video clip and I think it is safe to say that it has been the most watched video ever on our computer! Enjoy his incredible cuteness!! (p.s. his Ethiopian name, Bereket, means "Blessing")