Adding to the Din

I’ve had an eclectic collection of thoughts that have been rolling around in my head lately and recently they have begun to coalesce to point to a common theme… the din of the online social media world.

  

First there is the time commitment:

The Letter

Over Thanksgiving I was out of town, and as always when I am away from home, I LOVED being freed from the phone, email, and Facebook. When away, I rarely ever check my messages –I like being distraction free… But I’ve wondered why I like the “freed” feeling so much. Are those things such a burden to be weighed down by? The phone, email, FB, blogs, are all used to connect me to people, to my friends and family. Why does it sometimes feel like a burden? Humans, especially women (especially stay-at-home moms), love to connect, to be in community. It’s a good thing, we are made for it. Even Cassatt's painting from the days of the pre-telephone era shows the value and desire for connection, for correspondence.

Connecting is a good thing. But holding onto the rope that I use to maintain ties can turn into a tug-of-war when I am being distracted from my real time, real life responsibilities: planning and preparing meals, teaching my children, doing laundry, talking with my husband, family time… When the kids say, “mom” and without turning my head from the computer screen I say, “just a sec” -that is a negative tug-of-war.

I don’t necessarily feel like I am online too much, but how much is too much? When has it become a hindrance, a distraction, an interference, and waste of time?

I don't often post on Facebook; I usually just like to see what’s going on with others. I feel like I frequently filter through all the noise to try to find something important. Although I sometimes feel envious, annoyed, or bored with what I spend my time sifting through, I always wonder, what if someone posted something important that I should know and care about?! I don’t want to be insensitive by not seeing it and commenting!  But I can’t put that pressure on myself. If I needed to know it, they could tell me specifically or personally.  I have quit trying to keep up with everyone's updates.  I simply can't.

So I have a tug-of-war at home between my laptop and my “real life”. The temptation is always there to be online longer than I should, or to seek significance online. But I have my private personal life to live, my small circle of family that I have a significant influence on, then there are widening circles of friends and family as my influence fades. I know that if my Facebook presence would disappear tomorrow, no one would bat an eye. So how much of my time belongs there? God has given me the particular people and relationships He has intended for me, my personal circle of influence.  I cannot and should not try to expand those circles beyond what He intended for me; He knows my limits better than I do.  Everyone outside my family has other friends and other family to fill in the gaps of my failures, but my kids have only one mom and my husband has only one wife. If I fail in those areas, there is no one else to pick up my slack!

I also have been interested in the cultural effects of the connected, social media world:

In The Facebook Effect, (a book describing the beginnings of and cultural effects of Facebook), author David Kirkpatrick reports the claim that Facebook is so wildly popular because of humans’ drive towards voyeurism and narcissism. I totally believe it… can you disagree?!  How do we handle the positive side of staying connected without falling into these traps?

I’ve wondered why I want to check my email or Facebook so often throughout the day. I’m certainly not bored, I have plenty to do at home. How come something a person is saying online seems more important than what my kids or husband have to say?! When I have those little red numbers at the top of my FB page, it’s exciting… but they are really nothing to be excited about. So I found it quite interesting in Alone Together, when author and psychologist Sherry Turkle said, “Connectivity becomes a craving; when we receive a text or an e-mail, our nervous system responds by giving us a shot of dopamine. We are stimulated by connectivity itself. We learn to require it, even as it depletes us.” (p227)  So seeing those red numbers on FB are giving us shots of dopamine! Is that why it excites us? Knowing that there is a physiological reaction involved, I somehow feel more equipped to resist the urge. I can resist the dopamine craving!  It's not the message itself that's thrilling, but the physiological response to being connected. Interesting! Bizarre!

Then there is the issue of announcing everything to everyone:

When Elizabeth, in her old age, became pregnant with John the Baptist, the result of a promise and deep blessing from the Lord, Elizabeth kept in quiet seclusion for five months. Many believe she did so to spend her time in meditation on the goodness and mercies of God and to give praise to Him. Fascinating! Think of her temptation to share the news if she had Facebook or a blog!

Likewise, when Mary gave birth to Jesus, the shepherds told others and all who heard were amazed, BUT, “Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” (Luke 2:19) Quiet, alone, between her and her Lord, sweetly personal, overwhelming, breathtaking, mind boggling. The contrast that strikes me is that she didn’t boast, brag, or shout out that she just gave birth to the Savior of the world! She didn’t blog about it, tweet about it, text, call, IM, FB… it to all of her friends and “sort-of” friends. She pondered them in her heart.

It just gets me wondering…

In our age of Facebook and Twitter and blogs, is anything kept quiet?
Is anything pondered in our hearts?
Is anything kept between us and God?
If some things are, should more be?
How much needs to be shared?
What are we looking for? From FB and blog posts that I see, often it seems people are looking for applause, sympathy, admiration, pity, respect… but sometimes we just want to be known, to connect, to share life with each other. Some want to encourage, some need to be encouraged. There is a good and appropriate time for and use of social media, but with all things there needs to be moderation, not only with time, but with the amount and quality of sharing, and I need to continually examine my motives for what and how and when I share.

I've also been thinking about the “noise” online…

I imagine a single person alone, thinking. Then I see two people in quiet, meaningful conversation, then it grows to a small group with a little more distraction, then a larger group with more noise, and on and on until three is such a loud, chaotic mass of people that no one can hear anyone, but everyone is shouting, trying to be heard.
That’s how I tend to see the online world. Everyone is talking; there is so much to hear, so much noise, that nobody can really hear anybody.
In listening to everyone, we hear no one.

A.W. Tozer said, “The old question, ‘what is the chief end of man?’ is now answered, ‘to dash about the world and add to the din thereof’.” -and that was 56 years ago!  I read that a few years ago and I keep hearing it in my mind. I do not want to be a part of the noisy, self-seeking, chaotic, frantic whirlwind of this world! I want peace, rest, stillness, purposefulness, I want contentedness!  And the old answer to the "old question" is "to glorify God and enjoy Him forever".  Yeah, I want that.

In 2008 there were 184 millions blogs – seriously?! Who am I to be squeaking out little sounds over here in my corner of the blog world?! I realize I have a quiet corner, but you are here reading my thoughts, and I appreciate your interest in it! If what I have to say only reaches a few people, but they are the few people that the Lord had planned and directed to hear what I have to say, then that is what it should be. I don’t desire to seek more “followers”, but when I make a post, I ask the Lord to bring whoever He wants to read it to see it. I am often amazed to read a comment from someone who came across my blog and needed to hear that particular thing that day. The Lord directs our paths.

“In quietness and trust is your strength.” Isaiah 30:15

Our strength is not in our number of Facebook friends, or blog followers, or the number of comments on our posts, or how many comments we leave for others, or how many comments we get on our comments... or if others think we are wise, funny, smart, kind…

As I'm processing all of these issues and questions, I think that here is what I need to be focusing on asking myself:

1. What does God want me to say?
2. Who does He want me to say it to?
3. What does God not want me to say?
4. What does God want me to listen to?
5. What does God not want me to listen to?

I can’t end this post without sharing this music video. Lecrae’s words sing the desire of my heart for my blog, my friendships, my life.

“Take lead of me and I’ll play the background.”

The question I need to keep asking myself in all honesty is, am I ok with that?

It’s not about me, if I’m heard, if I’m admired. It’s about me pointing to the Lord.

That’s really all that matters, I have nothing to say that hasn’t been said before, but I can share about the ways that God has gripped my heart and my life, to share how He is moving and teaching me…. If what I say gives honor and glory and joy to Him, then I think I’m on track. I don’t just want to add to the din.