Multitasking... really?!

I know many women proudly wear the badge of being a proficient multitasker.  I'll agree that, being a woman, my mind is always thinking about many things at once; I can't compartmentalize like my husband.  I can pray while driving, I can plan a grocery list while folding laundry, I can write a letter in my head while showering, ...you get the point.

But, here is what I cannot do:

I cannot follow an unfamiliar or complicated recipe while talking to my kids.
I cannot browse the internet and listen to my husband talk at the same time.
I cannot hold a conversation on the phone and deal with my kids at the same time.  (And I've talked with enough other moms on the phone to know that they can't, either.)
I cannot read my own book while listening to my son read (honestly! I try!).
I cannot talk on the phone and watch tv (or browse online) simultaneously.
I cannot write an email or Facebook message while also holding a conversation in person.

Now, this doesn't mean I don't TRY to do these things -I do them!  Everyday I catch myself trying to "multitask" relationships. I might pretend to be able to do both things at once, but quite frankly, I cannot.  I'm just shifting attention back and forth, not fully concentrating on either one.  I cannot share concentration.  The very definition of concentration implies that it cannot be shared:  

con·cen·tra·tion   /ˌkɒnsənˈtreɪʃən/
noun
1. the act of concentrating; the state of being concentrated.
2. exclusive attention to one object; close mental application.

When I see all the portable media distraction around us, I have a sinking feeling that our culture is losing the ability to concentrate (and understanding the value of it).  And beyond concentration, we are losing the ability to show respect and value to the person in front of us.  It's almost like we have come to crave and need distraction!

I've been reading an engrossing book called The Next Story by Tim Challies, about life and faith after the digital explosion.  In it he says this: 

"Often, we assume that we must or should change to accommodate the new technology.  We doubt that the technology could itself be the cause of the problem.  We give technology the power to shape and change and fashion us, remaking ourselves in its image. ...Rather than changing the technology to fit our understanding of what is right and wrong, we change ourselves and our society's rules and mores, and we reshape ourselves in the image of the mobile phone."  (p.27)  He goes on to say that this is one step away from creating idols.

What a profound perspective!
We tend and nurture our relationship with our media as if it is giving us life, energy, purpose.  It sounds like a role only God should have in our lives!  We often ignore or disregard the people in front of us, so that we can attend to more distant or non-existent relationships online.

Challies also says this: 
"We become digitally disincarnated, people who can live and be online, present only in the virtual, mediated self.  Increasingly who we are is no longer the person people meet face-to-face, but the mediated identity we have created... We take our self, our sense of presence, and transport it into the ethereal world of bits and bytes.  Suddenly we are here and there, at a desk in body but in soul or spirit somehow present in cyberspace.  And this is new to us, new to the human experience.  When we venture into this world, this mediated world, we leave our bodies behind."  (pp.99-100) 

Reading that felt like a light bulb "duh!" moment for me.  I can't be in two places at once!  But with technology, we try, we even think we succeed at it.  We try to be present online, on Facebook, on the phone, texting, etc., while also being present wherever our physical body is, but we can't.  I can't.  When we talk about having an internet "presence", we are implying that we are present somewhere in the nebulous online world.  But that means our physical presence is "on hold" when we are mentally and emotionally present somewhere else.  I cannot hold both an online presence and a "fully present" presence in my physical world at the same time.  My kids know it, my husband knows it.  I know it.  I've been around others while they are media distracted to know that they are not fully present in their physical world at the same time, either.

Many of us have often cried in frustration, "I can't be in two places at once!" when we are feeling pulled in multiple directions, distracted, hurried, and overscheduled.  But here we are now, with our constant media presence, trying to be both here and there.  It is still impossible to be two places at once, but we try.  We just become chronically hurried, we become skimmers, we become information seekers and not understanders. We want just the facts, just the bling, we don't want to slow down, concentrate, mull over, think up a thoughtful response, enjoy moments, remember, integrate thoughts. 

I just want us to quit fooling ourselves.  Is anybody with me on this? Since reading what Challies says about our online presence, I have felt challenged in the way I use technology at home.  Do I fool myself in thinking that I am still plugged in with my family when I am also plugged in online?  I need to be honest with myself about it and realize I can't be in two places at once.  There is a time a place for everything ...just not at the same time.  I don't want to multitask relationships.

I find this book fascinating and I would highly recommend it to any media user -it is informative, challenging, convicting, and encouraging!  He doesn't condemn technology, he just wants it to be kept in its proper place.